Colin J. to Jill Roberts Are you enjoying your first year of Curling
JR- I love it. I dont know what is going on half the time but I just love it
Overheard at the Ayton Bonspiel. Someone talking to a big end winner.
I've got some magazines for you
Reply Oh ho, good. I hope they are the right kind (said with a nudge, nudge, wink wink.... well he'd had a few)
well, yes one of them has Roberta-Ann as a centrefold
Has it ?? At this point several pairs of male ears pricked up. Yes and there are a lot of other fine women surrounding her
My God, what magazine is that ? The Scottish Curler with its spread on the USA tour by Scottish ladies
Awww.... blast
Overheard at Dickinson Final. To put in context, Colin Martin had just played a heavy guard which chipped the opposition in for shot. Colin M (to wife Liz who was watching at the barrier) I know! I know! Don't tell me , I know
At the presentation of the Dickinson to the winning skip Colin Martin, Colin, recollecting the heavy guard, said A skip does not have to play the winning shot. He should guide his team to victory We believe you Colin.
Overheard in changing room - I thought Jim was very smooth tonight.
Yes but he had a loaded rink... pardon what did you say.
I said he had a loaded rink.
Oh I see, I thought you said he'd a loady drink
In a game where two un-named players (Colin Jeffries & Brian Taylor) had spent hours deciding tactics (or was this the tactic). John Walker looked at his watch and said well at least its still Tuesday
Colin J:. I thought this was a non-contact sport ......Edith:. Ha ! (match report)
Colin Jeffries (to Margaret); I trust John will be getting cold meals tomorrow Margaret?
John will be getting NO meals tomorrow-- Ah the Valentine's day spirit! { After a husband / wife match in which John showed scant regard to the fact it was Feb 13}
Jill Roberts was heard in the bar. You're playing George on Friday ? You'll have no problem. He's a doddle. I beat him twice last week I had great fun in that dentist's chair !!!!
Heard from Colin J( ruefully after losing to George) Jill's wrong. George is not such a doddle after all (match report)
Heard in the men's changing room. Allan Lugget- If it hadn't been for thon 6, the game was even
Phillip- But we were just toying with you Allan
Allan- Do you fancy walking home Phillip ?
Jill Roberts with a new brush bought from George wondering how to operate the floppy end when sliding - What do I do with this? - Brian quick as a flash Clean windows !. Just the sort of comment that sets the tone for your usual Duns friendly!
Jill, to George after a win by her rink, That makes it three times in a row I've cuffed you. I told Colin Jeffries it would be a doddle
Observer I see Jill has taken over the mantle of Faller-in-Chief first set up by John Walker.
Jill: I've more bruises from Curling than in all the years I've been skiing
Jill to John You just haven't been with the right women
- something to do with John's previous lack of success------ in the John Martin.
Chris Lucas - Your blood pressure drops when you go to the toilet. That's why when you get up to go to the loo in the night you stagger more going back to bed
Unattributed remark overheard in the bar When the head rattles that way it means no.
Jill- George next week, that'll be 4 in a row
Jill a week later: That's four in a row, now George
Alan Luggett to Alistair Hodge after Alistair's series of fortunate shots: You better jump in the Tweed on the road hame, you'll come out wi' your pockets full of salmon
John Walker, on same series of incidents, I dont think Colin has been to Church enough recently
Member of Colin's rink Well I think Colin was praying a lot during the game, at least I heard the words "God Almighty" coming from him several times
John Walker: Did you know Colin Jeffries is not getting so much sleep just now because of the new female he has tagged on to. She wakes him up early to see to her needs. She has tawny fair hair and beautiful brown eyes, name of Molly.
She is a Cocker Spaniel puppy.
Paul on the hack cleaning his stone after a series of ridiculous pick ups in a game against Colin Jeffries. Good God that looks like a Spaniel hair (match report)
Brian These are my work trousers. Liz I hope they can stretch
Brian (in the bar, still speaking about his trousers) When I came into the staffroom for coffee, Ian Thomson pointed to my crotch area in horror and said Ugh, look. I thought I must have left my flies undone but no. I looked down and there was this pinkish brown wrinkled thing hanging there.........
I had been teaching in the Biology dept and one of their slugs had crawled on to me.
Winning skip at a presentation. Well we did play well. In fact we played extremely well. In fact we played so well that we played better than the folk upstairs (for new members, the experts watching the game upstairs always know best no matter who is playing and they never make a mistake)
Winning skip, on hearing criticism of his play in a final, replying to his critics Well, if I had been unsuccessful in the tournament, I would have been up here with you lot of beaten ones instead of winning the cup
Chris Lucas (to Colin Jeffries, her skip) When I am on the brush, I'm on the brush Colin Err.....yes
The day after the Berwick v Rangers match at Berwick - two quotes.
They were singing a lot of secretarial songs that they would not be allowed in Ibrox
- unattributed.
Alistair Lindsay My God , have you seen thon picture of John Walker in the Berwickshire news ? {Oh yes - My God - we saw it !! It was 20+ years ago and I swear he looked older!}
On hearing that Rona is to be married- George and Jill are playing together in the pairs, perhaps there will be another wedding
Jill re her pairing with George- Tell him I'm not playing unless I get my shoes
Billy to George re his pairing with Jill- I see it's a case of, if you can't beat them join them
Hi George, I've just seen the pairs draw and you are paired with Jill. As she came first out of the hat, she is skipping.
She tells me she can't wait to apply the whip.???!!!
Hi George, I fixed the pairs draw like you asked. I'll be in tomorrow for the money - Billy in jest to George in the third of several calls to George from different people from the same phone on seeing the pairing. (George and Jill had the last laugh, winning the competition)
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